離婚男性單親家庭經驗探究

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Title:	離婚男性單親家庭經驗探究 A Study of The Family Experiences of Single Fathers
Authors:	王皖平
Contributors:	心理輔導學系
Keywords:	離婚單親單親爸爸家庭系統 divorce single parent single father family system
Date:	2023
Issue Date:	2024-03-07 16:11:45 (UTC+8)
Abstract:	婚姻與家庭對於成年男性就像是其生命根源所在，「成家、立業」彷彿是人生成功前進的基礎步伐。本研究主體為經驗婚變離婚且帶著子女一同生活的單親男性，旨在探討離婚男性的單親家庭經驗。本研究經由立意取樣邀請四位曾經歷離婚並負擔子女撫養及監護的單親爸爸，透過質性研究的深度訪談，經由受訪者在婚變、離婚到執掌一個單親家庭的動態歷程敘事，並以「類別—內容」方式進行資料分析。研究發現如下：一、從婚姻關係衝突到離婚後成為單親爸爸的家庭系統移動、變化及發展過程婚姻關係初始，成年男性選擇跟隨妻子在岳父母的家尋求依附，即使有象徵抗拒的短暫性脫離，最後仍屈服配合、決定「為愛求全」。其中妻子與娘家的關係黏膩，先生展現的高度融合，顯示其自我分化的未臻完全，並且反映出界線議題，例如界線鬆軟、界線的滲透、侵入等現象。無論是分化不全或者界線侵入均影響到夫妻次系統的失衡，挑戰初形成的次系統，於是夫妻間衝突爭執不斷。男性在婚姻裡犧牲自己的感受、隱藏自我想法以成全家庭和諧之假象，分化程度低、融合程度高反而讓夫妻次系統與其他次系統間的界限受到挑戰。經驗婚姻關係不斷衝突、妻子外遇與出走的離婚單親男性，「回家」成為其重要的一段新個體化旅程，單親爸爸回到自己的家或者得到來自家人的力量加持，增加單親家庭新系統的穩定與適應。此外經驗離婚單親男性亦可能受到來自父權下的男子氣概影響及性別刻板印象的雙重箝制，需要守護自我尊嚴而呈現「雙啞現象」，隱忍加上說不出口更增添個體內在壓力。二、成為單親爸爸的經驗男性即使在被動狀態之下被離婚、被決定成為單親爸爸，仍主動一肩扛起育兒責任，離開了婚姻關係，單爸們與子女的距離更靠近，孩子更是其突破困境的動能。在新組成的系統中，尤其是家有幼童者，單爸們往往與「媽媽的角色替補者」之協助家人因教養歧異感到備受挑戰。經驗被外遇、被離婚或訴訟衝突，離婚單親男性難與前伴侶共同經營共親職關係，但也有關係轉化的可能。關於新的一段親密關係首重子女是否接納，其次則考量時間、經濟等多方因素。本研究並依據總結提出建議與反思。 Abstract This study examines the pivotal role of marriage and family in the lives of adult men, positing that founding a family and establishing a career are fundamental steps towards life success. Focusing on single men who have undergone marriage, divorce, and are custodial parents, this research aims to elucidate the experiences of divorced men in single-parent family structures. This study engaged four single fathers with divorce experience and child-rearing responsibilities in qualitative, in-depth interviews. These narratives shed light on their transition from marital disruption to managing a single-parent family, with a methodical “category-content” analysis of the data. Key findings include: I. Dynamics of Family System movement and evolution from Marital Conflict to Post-Divorce Single Fatherhood In the early stages of a marital relationship, the adult male often makes the conscious choice to accompany his wife in establishing connections within the household of her family of origin. Despite a brief period of adjustment that may symbolize initial resistance, he ultimately submits and actively engages in this endeavor, driven by a pursuit of love. The wife's strong attachment to her maternal family and the husband's high level of integration into this familial unit highlight issues related to self-differentiation, thereby exposing boundary-related concerns such as boundary laxity, encroachment, and intrusion. Whether it pertains to incomplete differentiation or boundary trespass, these factors do not imply an absence of completeness in the wife's relationship with her maternal family. Both incomplete differentiation and boundary intrusion significantly impact the equilibrium of the couple's subsystem, thereby posing challenges to the newly formed unit and giving rise to ongoing conflicts and disputes between the partners. Men often make sacrifices in terms of their own emotions and may conceal their thoughts to maintain the illusion of familial harmony. The combination of low self-differentiation and high familial integration further underscores the complexities surrounding the boundaries that delineate the couple's subsystem in relation to other subsystems. Divorced single fathers find that “returning home” signifies a profound, individual journey. By either returning to their original homes or deriving strength from familial support, these single fathers contribute to the stability and adaptation of the single-parent family system. Such behavior may be further compounded by patriarchal masculinity and gender stereotypes, compelling men to safeguard their self-esteem and exhibit what may be termed a “double mute” phenomenon and increased personal stress. II. The Single Father Experience Even when men become single fathers after a divorce, they often willingly take on the job of raising their children. This responsibility brings them closer to their children, who give them the reason to push through tough times. Single fathers, particularly those with young children, might find it challenging to cooperate with substitute mothers on raising children. The experience of infidelity, divorce, or contentious legal battles hampers, for a divorced single father, it’s hard to maintain a functional co-parenting dynamic with his former partner. Nevertheless, there exists a potential for transformation within these relationships. When contemplating a new intimate relationship, the primary consideration for single fathers is the acceptance of their children, followed by an assessment of various factors, including time and financial implications. The study concludes with recommendations and reflections informed by these insights.
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