This research takes as example a case of a Christian family. It discusses how a family reacts during the lost of a loved one. The method of research involves qualitative research and narrative approach. It conducts semi structured interviews with individuals and family members together.
The result shows that when a Christian family faces the lost of a loved one, there will be five thematic experiences each follows a continuous timeline.
1.Before sickness—God as a warm God who keeps the family together.
Family members are kept together with positive experiences and can contain each other’s emotions while God plays the role of enlarging the warm feeling.
2.Getting news of sickness—God who both blesses and curses.
The news brings great impact to the family. Family dynamic changes to face the suffering together. It experiences God as one who both blesses and curses.
3.After sickness—God as an ambivalent God.
Sickness brought changes and great emotions. The family will prepare for coming death and basic needs. It experiences God as sometimes giving hope, yet sometimes bringing disappointing conflicting feelings.
4.At the moment of death—God as a fleeting God.
Family members sometimes experiences short-term miraculous healings or sudden death. It experiences grief and rupture of relationship with God.
5.After death—God as one who does not snuff out the smoldering wick.
Family members begin to face the chaos and lost together. The faith goes from confused feelings to reassurance. The family can function again.
This thesis then continues to dialogue with existing research to develop its conclusions as follows:
1.When faced when an existential issue such as the lost of a loved one, everybody want to become the savior in the family interaction.
When a family lose a loved one, family interaction changes in order to accommodate the struggle of the moment. Members will form alliance to help the dysfunctional member. However, the dysfunctional member might not want to be in that kind of position, so she/he continues to participate in sharing family life. So the whole family indeed all want to become saviors to go through this moment of crisis.
2.The emotional openness of the family losing loved ones has a key in the family resilience of emotional stress.
When a family loses a loved one, it experiences difficulties in adjusting to emotional outburst. The key lies in the fact that family members might be concerned that their emotions can cause ripples in the family. So they choose to swallow and face emotions on their own. When she/he can no longer cope with such emotions, then psycho-somatic symptoms might develop. These symptoms are not the single cause of the family struggle. It can help the family develop its resilience.
3.The Christian perspective on death both helps and hinders the family losing loved ones.
When a family loses a loved one, Christian perspective on death can give the family hope to help them cope with changes. However, it can also become obstacles for members who are experiencing struggles and confusions. They cannot integrate their experience with the Christian doctrine and cannot trust their interpretation of the situation. It can cause them to stay confused when facing yet another grief.
Finally, this research hopes to become the basis of references for practitioners and future research.
